Seductive Man

Are you creepy? Have people told you you are creepy? Have you creeped people out in social situations? I have run into creepy people, read posts by people who think they are creepy and even (I know it’s suprising) been told that I was acting creepy (I know, but it’s true, they have!) What do we do about it? What can we do? Well here is the Seductive Man decreepification program. Free of charge and just for you.

Lets use the Casablanca system. What is the Casablanca system? We use characters from the movie as a creepiness meter. Casablanca has one of the creepiest guys in Hollywoods history, Peter Lorre.

It also has one of the least creepy guys in Hollywood, Humphrey Bogart.

Neither one is particularly good looking but one was the hero and one was the creep. The reasons I like to use these two actors is because both show classical ideals of creepy and in control, they are used to contrast each other in the film and they use real body language to portray their characters. If you have any or all of Peter Lorres body language traits, see which traits Bogarts contrast it and integrate them into your body language to replace the bad traits.

Lets look at creepiness first. What can we see just from the picture.

1. Forehead shiny with sweat
2. Hunched shoulders
3. Fidgety hands
4. Head sticking forward from the torso on a long spindly neck
5. Intense expression

His body language blows. Now we can’t identify the problem without providing a solution. So lets look at Bogey.

1. Relaxed shoulders
2. A casual lean on the counter
3. Hands parked comfortably
4. Head inline with the spine
5. He is vertical not slumped, leaning forward or back. Good Posture
6. He is smiling just a little and looks in control

Next there’s the way they talk. Check out this clip. No you don’t have to watch all of it, just look at the first few minutes.

Peter Lorre is rushing his speech, saying all he can to find aproval. He’s nervous. His voice is soft and a little whiney. He initiates but never has control of the conversation. Bogart directs the conversation toward one end, the conversations end and getting rid of Lorre. He doesn’t want to be in the conversation. Lorres perserverence only comes across as neediness. He needs Bogarts aproval. It’s creepy. Bogarts speech is metered not slow like many people say you should do but he controls it. The speed of his speech is dictated by how he wants what he says to impact Lorre.

Now, when you are out, who are you? Peter Lorre or Humphrey Bogart? If you are Lorre, what makes you like him and what does Bogart do that is different? Figure out how to replace the things that make you Lorre like with things that Bogart does. Don’t try to do it all at once. Pick out one trait and change it. Make it comfortable. Change isn’t a switch, it’s a process. On a final note, the people you spend time with like you the way you are for one reason or another. If you really want to change they really won’t like it. As you change so will your friends. Make sure the ones you have don’t hold you back.

And please help me get the word out about Seductive Man by Digging and posting comments.