Remember, voting is a right that you must give away in the U.S. and a Privilege most people in the world don’t have. Voting is not about idology it is about governance. When you vote, pick the candidate you believe most capable of governing. Finally, remember that NO VOTE IS WASTED. Your candidate may not win but each vote they get lets the world know that their position has merit and therefore so does yours.

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I can’t tell you how many times I have seen this. A guy gets into the pick up community to build up his social skill set. He goes out to clubs and builds a real fun social circle so he can find the perfect girl to settle down with. He builds his skill set to the point where he’s the life of the party. He has an entourage and gets access exclusive venues. He throws killer parties. He has women all around him and multiple girlfriends.

He then decides that he is at the top of his game and has exactly what he wants. He can choose the best of his girlfriends to settle down with and maybe get married. He focuses on one relationship and that one gorgeous fun girl. They stop going out so much and spend time alone in front of the TV watching movies and having quiet private dinners together. They hold hands and walk around the lake.

Then it all falls apart.

What happened? Why did she get so full of drama? Why did she get so naggy? Well the problem is the method. Pick up is cookie cutter. We make ourselves fun and exciting. We build a lifestyle for ourselves and a tempo for that lifestyle that isn’t sustainable in the long term. There is a lot of social infrastructure built into that lifestyle. Keeping in contact with people can take up huge amounts of time. You can’t just talk on the phone either, you have to go out, all the time. It is that unsustainable lifestyle that draws a type of person to us. It draws a party person. She hooks up and goes out with you regularly. She’s really into you and your lifestyle. and then you decide to settle down with her becaus she might be the one and theres the problem. You attracted her wit the high tempo lifestyle and when you stop being that person, she looses interest.

If you want to settle down, find a girl who is looking for someone to settle down with. You won’t attract her with the high tempo lifestyle. The party lifestyle is too much for a homebody. You generally won’t find her at a club and even if you did she wouldn’t be interested because you have that high tempo lifestyle.

If your desire is to find someone to settle down with, then settle down. Be social but not high tempo. Don’t go to clubs to meet women. Find outlets for your settled down lifestyle. Who knows, maybe going to boardgame night will yield results. Maybe your new boardgame buddy has a hot sister. Go to book stores and start reading. Hang out at coffee shops in the afternoons. Live the life you want to live and meet people who live the same way. In the same way being the nightclub king will get all the night club girls, being the bookstore king will get you the bookworm girls.

On another note, updates to this site are going to be irregular in August because I am heavily involved in The Thirty Day Challenge. Thank you for your patience.

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I occasionally like to go out hunting for funny pick up lines. Here are a few I have run into recently.

you’ve been a naughty girl, go to my room.

you’re hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power

my friend over there wants to know if you think I’m cute

you might not be the hottest chick here but beauty is just a light switch away.

the more I drink the prettier you get

you’re like a candy bar, half sweet and half nuts

I’m a guitar player, have you seen my G string

I like salad

If you know of any I have missed that really make you roll, post ‘em in the comments below.

Remember to Digg and Stumble this post and help get the word out.

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My brother was talking to me about building site traffic. He was looking at some of his favorite blogs and none of them give any worthwhile advice on how to build traffic. I decided to look into the subject with a google search and I found some stuff that was pretty entertaining in my opinion. Here is what everyone recommends:

1. Create Valuable Content
2. Create Original Content
3. Create Timeless Content
4. Blah
5. Blah
6. Blah

This is the advice you get from all over the place on the intertubes. These brain trusts are so loaded with wisdom that there advice is “If you build it they will come.” That’s like telling a resturant, “If you have comfortable seats and good food people will eat at your resturant.”

No one says word one about ADVERTISING.

Come on internet Gurus, where is the sage advice. Some say SEO but that is hit or miss. Some say pay per click but that can get real pricey real quick and still not provide any regular traffic. Some say be active in your community. Well that is a good way to spend hours procrasterbating about your niche until you get thoroughly burned out.

Isn’t there someone out there who knows their stuff who can say:

1. Go here and look for terms in your niche
2. Go here and learn how to make custom PPC ads for ad words
3. Go here and do a search using keywords in you niche

Oh, wait, I just did.

One more thing, do you see the share this tag just below this paragraph? Social Bookmarking is a nice forth way to advertise. It’s basic but it’s the 20% that will get you 80% there.

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Here she is in all her leopardy hotness! Our July Cover Girl!

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Are you creepy? Have people told you you are creepy? Have you creeped people out in social situations? I have run into creepy people, read posts by people who think they are creepy and even (I know it’s suprising) been told that I was acting creepy (I know, but it’s true, they have!) What do we do about it? What can we do? Well here is the Seductive Man decreepification program. Free of charge and just for you.

Lets use the Casablanca system. What is the Casablanca system? We use characters from the movie as a creepiness meter. Casablanca has one of the creepiest guys in Hollywoods history, Peter Lorre.

It also has one of the least creepy guys in Hollywood, Humphrey Bogart.

Neither one is particularly good looking but one was the hero and one was the creep. The reasons I like to use these two actors is because both show classical ideals of creepy and in control, they are used to contrast each other in the film and they use real body language to portray their characters. If you have any or all of Peter Lorres body language traits, see which traits Bogarts contrast it and integrate them into your body language to replace the bad traits.

Lets look at creepiness first. What can we see just from the picture.

1. Forehead shiny with sweat
2. Hunched shoulders
3. Fidgety hands
4. Head sticking forward from the torso on a long spindly neck
5. Intense expression

His body language blows. Now we can’t identify the problem without providing a solution. So lets look at Bogey.

1. Relaxed shoulders
2. A casual lean on the counter
3. Hands parked comfortably
4. Head inline with the spine
5. He is vertical not slumped, leaning forward or back. Good Posture
6. He is smiling just a little and looks in control

Next there’s the way they talk. Check out this clip. No you don’t have to watch all of it, just look at the first few minutes.

Peter Lorre is rushing his speech, saying all he can to find aproval. He’s nervous. His voice is soft and a little whiney. He initiates but never has control of the conversation. Bogart directs the conversation toward one end, the conversations end and getting rid of Lorre. He doesn’t want to be in the conversation. Lorres perserverence only comes across as neediness. He needs Bogarts aproval. It’s creepy. Bogarts speech is metered not slow like many people say you should do but he controls it. The speed of his speech is dictated by how he wants what he says to impact Lorre.

Now, when you are out, who are you? Peter Lorre or Humphrey Bogart? If you are Lorre, what makes you like him and what does Bogart do that is different? Figure out how to replace the things that make you Lorre like with things that Bogart does. Don’t try to do it all at once. Pick out one trait and change it. Make it comfortable. Change isn’t a switch, it’s a process. On a final note, the people you spend time with like you the way you are for one reason or another. If you really want to change they really won’t like it. As you change so will your friends. Make sure the ones you have don’t hold you back.

And please help me get the word out about Seductive Man by Digging and posting comments.

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Look at what we did last weekend. I love my life. Special thanks to JC for coordinating and Erik for the awesome photography.
It was a perfect day. I mean the kind of day that you read about in books. A light breeze, beautiful summer sun peaking from behind light fluffy clouds and green trees. The kind of days that women look for to spend at the pool in there new bikinis.
I don’t think I have had more fun at the pool.

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Today I am going to explain How to Clean Yourself Up For a Date. You just came home from work and you are getting ready to go out with a girl on a day 2. How do you get ready?

• Showering

Do you need to take a shower? Yes.

Do you need to do the full cleaning thing? That’s up to you. At the very least do the trio of funk; the arm pits, the wedding tackle and the butt crack. Think about feet and face and neck too.

Hair is optional. If you have been sweating a bunch, wash the hair. To much hair washing can tear up your hair and scalp causing dandruff and frizzy hair. Wet hair on a date can send a message that you are either not interested enough to do your hair properly or that you are so interested that you showered just for her. Dry and styled is best and if your hair is ok going into the shower, keep it dry and do a styling job when you get out

• Shaving

If you are shaving, shave with the intent to have a smooth face when you are done. It seams like a no brainer but that means the right razor, shaving cream and time to do it right. I do it in two stages, I shave to get it down and then let it dry after aftershave. I then check for what I missed and do it again focusing on the stuff I missed. After use an after shave if you have a problem with ingrown hair.

• Deodorizing

Deodorize. Use something made for men. Not something generic or nonspecific. Why? Even if the whole formulated for men thing is crap, men’s deodorant smells a certain way. Women pick up on that. Women are VERY sensitive to smell. Look at all the perfumes they use. They expect men to smell a certain way and if they don’t it colors there perception. Smelling like a what a woman expects a man to smell like just removes a variable. That also means don’t over cologne. You want to smell good, not like a Parisian Brothel.

• Hair

As I said earlier, wet hair is bad. Get it dry, not damp, DRY. If you wet style it so it looks right when dry, fine but that means if you aren’t blow drying you have a wait on your hands. The longer the hair, the longer the wait and therefore the more planning. Pick a hairstyle that works for you and matches your management level. If you don’t like to put a lot of work into your hair, pick a hairstyle that is low maintenance. Don’t go so low maintenance that it looks bad on you. Only Marines should have a Marine haircut.

• Oral Hygiene

Brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash and put breath strips in you pocket. ‘Nuff said.

• Clothing

The three rules of dressing for a date are the three rules of dressing in general. Your clothes need to match. They need to be clean and look like it. That means that if they need pressing they should be pressed and clean WHEN YOU MEET HER. No sweat stains from the drive to the place you are meeting her. It also means that if they’re casual like tee shirts and jeans they should look like they were folded in a drawer until you put them on. Finally they should be appropriate to what you have planned. When I started wearing linens, I had a real problem with wrinkling. I started wearing a tee shirt on the way over with my nice shirt hanging in the back seat. I never had a problem changing in the parking lot. A word of caution, make sure the shirt fits before you leave. It would suck to get to the venue and find out the cleaner shrank your shirt. Linen pants were a problem though. Unless you decide to change in the bathroom which is awkward at best, you wear them and try to minimize the wrinkles

Remember, automating any process makes it easier on you so come up with a system for each step so you do it without thinking. Put the automated systems together and getting ready is a no brainer. So do you guys have any hints on getting ready for going out?

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Way back in July of last year I wrote a post about Seductive Jobs. Oxygen magazine polled some 10,000 women on the sexiest jobs. The top 5 jobs were, in order: Firefighter, Musician, Soldier, Business Owner and carpenter/mechanic. Since I read that I have had the plan to start or join a band. The problem was that I couldn’t play an instrument. I can sing well, but try to talk musicians into letting you play in their world if you can’t play an instrument as well as sing.

I endeavored to learn the bass and harmonica. The first thing I have to say about the bass is if I had picked up a bass when I was 16 I would still be playing it today. Back then I wanted to learn the guitar but couldn’t get the hang of it. I was jamming on the bass 20 minutes after picking it up.

I won’t pretend to be good at it but I don’t suck for a few months practice. I enjoyed it from the start. It also helps that I have a friend who took up the guitar. We get together on Tuesday nights for “Band Night.” It started for us when we got together one night and played Guitar Hero 3. For a while we would plunk on the guitars and then imagine ourselves as rock stars while playing GH3 in co-op mode. Now we don’t mess with GH3, we just practice on the instruments. We even came up with a name for our band. “Discount Masons.”

Since band practice is at my friends place I pack up the bass and amp and take it with me. The other night, after practice I packed up and on the way out, had 3 girls all say hi to me in the parking lot. It never happened before. The only difference is I had a bass on my back. It’s true, women DO dig musicians. The down side is, I can’t carry my bass with me everywhere I go.

Another instrument I always wanted to learn is the harmonica. The problem with the harmonica is the books on it suck. What key harmonica should I buy for blues? How do I play it? How do I make those bluesy sounds? If you checked out the video I found on Youtube (thanks to Ed Dale and the 30 day challenge) I found this guy. I now have a B flat blues harp and I spend 30 minutes a day (at least) on it. It may not be the obvious peacock of the bass guitar on my back but blues harmonica rules.

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Blond this time. Enjoy.

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